By: Henry Caron and Kayla Merriweather
Two juniors, taking a combined eight AP courses this year, have set out on a quest to discover their true pride in the only way they know: to be as hype as possible at any (and every) opportunity. Meet Kayla Merriweather and Henry Caron whose relationship is the definition of love-hate as they constantly argue over various mundane topics but come together to laugh at other people’s failures together. Although they might spend hours each night climbing an Everest of homework, these two intrepid and overexcited juniors still show what it means to get pumped!
Turkey legs, rickety rides, and deep fried diabetes can be expected at any fair south of the Mason-Dixon line, and the North Carolina state fair is no exception. Our fair had been festering for two weeks under the hot Raleigh sun by the time Henry and Kayla strolled up, intermingling with the hot and sweaty inhabitants of both the Triangle and the rural surroundings of North Carolina. Although the state fair is located next to the plush PNC arena and beautiful North Carolina State University campus, when one steps into the redneck metropolis that is the state fair, all pretense of sophistication and liberalism vanishes, leaving a visitor pondering what happened to the city of Raleigh where the fair is located.
The first priority of any fairgoer is filling their stomachs with ‘food,’ so the duo found the nearest mucky-wagon, with overpriced junk ranging from deep-fried dough to bacon on a stick. But Kayla, being the convincing person she is, was able to convince Henry to play a few ‘games,’ known by all as ‘wallet-emptiers,’ first. Henry rudely permitted Kayla to lose five dollars playing a squirt-gun game hosted by a 17-year-old farmer’s son with questionable dental hygiene. Seeking redemption after her defeat, Kayla showcased that Ball is Lyfe during a basketball game from which she won a horribly disproportionate penguin. We wouldn’t have been surprised to find it to be a taxidermied penguin, considering the animal cruelty exhibited at the fair. After Henry had stuffed his face with an eight-dollar chicken (or maybe dead rodent) philly-cheese steak with Kayla casting occasional glances of disdain during the process, the duo ventured over to the rides section of the fair. On the way there, an EMS truck passed by with sirens wailing, leaving the both of them wondering which ride had collapsed this time. As they got closer, they were severely underwhelmed after seeing the length of the lines for rides and the questionable safety precautions. After seeing various displays of animal cruelty, they decided it was time to head out before cigarette fumes gave them lung cancer. Grabbing some ice cream before they went, the two narrowly escaped being run over by a tractor and golf carts and dashed for the exit.
All in all, the state fair is a fun experience for those who don’t value their safety, health, or wallet fatness. For families, the fair is a great place to learn about the agricultural history of North Carolina, participate in a variety of contests, buy useless knick knacks, and get free hushpuppies. However, budgets and common sense are important if one doesn’t want to be rolled out on a stretcher, or have one’s body rolled like Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory because of an uncontrollable love for deep-fried oreos.